I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
