hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
