You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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