Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
