As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize