i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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