walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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