I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's no shave November. This is our time.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize