Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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