I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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