3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I party with great urgency now.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
