I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
