I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
