i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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