why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
