Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
