What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
