I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
