You made me cry and you don't even care
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
