And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
