Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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