Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize