Apparently you make a good broom.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
