Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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