Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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