I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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