i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
