last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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