Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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