remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
