kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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