The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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