sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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