been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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