6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
