make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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