All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
