My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
