he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
