If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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