I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
