Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize