I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
