when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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