He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize