Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
