i think my mom watched the whole time
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
