...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
