Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
