Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
