corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
