Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
