I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize