it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
