im gay
i know
yea but for you.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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