he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
