so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
