You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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