Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
